Thoughts on higher level intimacy and merging with a partner

Thoughts on higher level intimacy and merging with a partner:

I've been having conversations with various people about romantic and physical intimacy recently. What often happens earlier on in our lives when we may be less awake spiritually is that we choose partners based on the physical attraction first and then try to make the other parts work. 

However, as we grow more on our emotional and spiritual paths this type of connection becomes less and less fulfilling. Strong physical attraction can often lead to sex and physical intimacy too soon and the problem with this is that the mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of each being have not had a chance to fully be seen, to find out whether they are compatible and whether it feels right to merge on each level. 

One way of looking at it that I'm finding helpful is this: at the spiritual level - do you share similar spiritual views, morals and ethics etc., at the mental, do you like the other's intellect and the way they reason and process thoughts, and at the emotional - are they open in their feelings and do you like the way they deal with and show their feelings? 

So, if there were the possibility to have a unique experience of just fully merging with that person's spirit, say the astral body (spiritual level), would you do it and let their spiritual energies potentially influence yours? Would you feel comfortable with just merging with them at a thought level and allowing your two thought processes to become one? And at a feeling level - would you feel comfortable with just merging the emotional bodies and allowing the other's emotional energies to potentially impact your emotional energies? 

Maybe these are good questions to ask ourselves about any partner? Do you like/love them (who you sense them to be) at all levels and would you be happy for all their energies at those different levels to mingle and merge with all the different levels of your being? 

Another helpful way to look at it might be; 'from which chakras are my desires emanating?' Sometimes we can get caught up in the less aware drives of the lower chakras. Ideally for these to be balanced out and healthy, we want to bring in the heart chakra energy of love and the higher chakra energies of genuine authentic communication, awareness and soul connection. 

Obviously there are much more profound approaches to union such as conscious co-creation, tantric practices and merging fully on the spiritual plane through a dedicated shared spiritual life, but these questions feel like good initial points to ponder and ask ourselves if we are considering our romantic relationships. 

In conscious co-creation (conscious conception) the physical should be the last level to be acted upon, as higher thought should be the initial point of creation for all areas of life when we want to live as higher spiritual beings. Just as in the creation myths we are told that the process of creation was proceeded by thought, ideally everything should start out as thought energy first and then become physical and I feel this approach makes equal sense in other areas of our life. 

Get the spiritual, mental and emotional energies in alignment and resonating and then the physical will be so much more profound and in alignment too. When we work in this way we are considering the "whole" being and acknowledging that we exist on multiple levels and we can then feel whole and integrated in our relationship dynamics as well because we are not ignoring our needs on one level or another. 

Spiritual Aloofness!

In a recent conversation with a lovely spiritually open-minded friend, the topic of what might be called 'spiritual aloofness' was brought up. In other words; those who promote themselves as spiritual teachers, healers or light workers but who present a certain image that might seem aloof, perfected, unrelate-able to others, ungrounded or not fully acknowledging their shadow sides and human foibles. This got me thinking further on this topic, especially as this sort of thing has very much bothered me in the past too. 

Whilst spiritual experiences are important, feel wonderful and are necessary for our growth and healing, it is essential that we stay grounded and do not let our spiritual life separate us from truly relating to others at a human level; that we do not let our spiritual connection breed narcissism. I am not one for aloofness, secrecy, for believing you have to have initiations or belong to a certain spiritual group or secret society. My experience is that spirit provides the true initiations, if we are truly ready to embark on the journey of deep inner work that such transformation requires, necessitating healing and an embrace of all aspects of ourselves; emotional, mental, physical and spiritual. We have to integrate all parts to feel whole and put ourselves through the alchemist's fire in the process. 

If we are also meant to have a specific teacher or teachers on the physical level, then we will be guided to the right person at the right time and this may well involve not one fixed teacher, as spiritual initiations can come in many different forms through every day experiences as well as through activities that shift our consciousness whilst we receive energy, such as through energy healing sessions. Many times those who are called healers channel higher energy similar to what one might experience in a Shaktipat initiation (and this is a good reason why those doing this sort of healing work should keep themselves clear energetically). 

Diana Cooper has spoken of the varied initiations both she and others have gone through. For instance, one type of higher initiation she calls 'the crucifix' meant that one lady had all parts of her life suddenly fall apart, including her husband leaving  and receiving a diagnosis of terminal illness. It was a real death of her life and identity as she had known it. Similarly Rudolf Steiner in his classic book 'How to Know Higher Worlds' talks of an initiation where you are suddenly alienated from all forms of support that have previously been available to you and you have to take action to get yourself out of a difficult situation on your own. 

These sorts of tests and forms of higher learning manifesting in our lives are another good reason why we should never judge another if they are going through difficult times. Often the real reason behind life's events is obscure to us and sometimes even if we ask, we are not meant to know at that time. So a person seen to be suffering is most likely doing very important soul work on themselves or possibly helping take on the burdens of another. We just can never fully know another person's path and in the Tibetan teachings many times everyday folk leading simple lives have surprised their family by becoming enlightened as they die.

One of the reasons I love the books so much about the incredible spiritual Russian recluse Anastasia by Vladimir Megre is because, despite her advanced abilities and otherworldly life, Anastasia constantly tries to explain the mechanisms behind everything she does and to show that these abilities are intrinsic to everyone, we just need to purify our thoughts and remember the ancient knowledge we have lost. Vladimir Megre states that unlike many spiritual teachers Anastasia does not veil herself in an air of mystery. She wants to prove the true capabilities of 'Man' which are within us all. 

The first kriya yoga master to teach to the public, Lahiri Mahasaya, pleaded with his guru Babaji that the secret knowledge of kriya yoga be made available to all who came to see him and not just a select few 'evolved' souls. Babaji saw the purity of Lahiri Mahasaya's intentions and granted this request and many souls were greatly uplifted and helped through receiving the kriya yoga teachings. Furthermore, despite his amazing spiritual progress and powers, Lahiri Mahasaya never liked anyone bowing down to him because he recognised the oneness of all souls. Many times if a new student offered pranams to him he would then also get down and do the same back to the student! 

With spiritual teaching there are the everyday practicalities to think of too! My healing teacher used to say to us, "do not put me on a pedestal because I'll fall off". I have seen this happen with certain people too. One amazing girl stated that she did not want children because it would interfere with her mission. She then fell pregnant and had a beautiful baby girl and then graciously acknowledged how what she had said before was complete 'bulls#*t'!

The great Hindu teacher Vivekananda has stated that the purest souls have no desire for self promotion or teaching and being in the limelight. So, along that note, any of us wanting to do this still have some ego to deal with - and this is good! Because without the ego we would not have motivation to take action and do the work of dharma. It is only a problem when we do not have an awareness of our inner motivations, and then the ego, or uncontrolled Mind, becomes our Master. 

It is necessary to be down-to-earth and stay humble and to be able to acknowledge and even laugh at our own weaknesses and faults - we all have shadows! Otherwise we are presenting an airbrushed image much like those of models in the media. This can be very disheartening to those wanting help and not seeing the full picture as they wonder what they have done wrong and why their lives are not also perfect. Our acceptance of all parts of ourselves helps others to also accept and love those less desirous parts of themselves, and therefore find wholeness. 

Finally, true spiritual teachers do not resent being questioned. They know how a good question is valuable to prompt new trains of thought and provide new insights. Yogananda's guru Swami Sri Yukteswar would frequently get criticised by members of the community. He would always listen to any criticism with respect and humility and then thoroughly examine himself to see whether there were any grains of truth in what was being said and therefore whether he needed to change anything in his behaviour. We all know the dangers and what can happen when 'leaders' go unquestioned from the many stories of cult members committing suicide and from the horrors perpetrated in World War II. And although a true spiritual teacher would never contemplate directing anyone along those lines and most likely not direct anyone to do anything anyway (recognising the free will of the soul), they know that questioning is still necessary, regardless of their pure motives. 

Yogananda himself apparently had a fierce critic who was a journalist who would always point out his faults. One day the critic died and a disciple brought the news to Yogananda assuming he would be relieved. However, Yogananda was apparently sad, saying that his best friend the critic had died and that he was the only one who would ever question him and point out his faults! He saw the immense value in this critic's contribution to his life in keeping him balanced in his personality. Obviously criticism can be hurtful and waste time and energy too, but when voiced rationally with balanced and valid view points, such alternative views can aid our growth and we should not be afraid to explore the real messages behind any such challenges.